Sunday, 20 July 2008

Day 348 of Captivity

I awoke this morning and was dismayed to discover I am still a prisoner of war.  The female Infidel has put me in a black mood this morning.  As we left the walls of the prison to be exercised on the cycling contraption there was the offspring of a peasant cat opposite the prison running about.  There is no place in this world for peasant cats nor their filthy offspring.  Despite my efforts to free myself I was unable to take it out, I ushered the grotty kelb into action but the female Infidel is stronger than I thought and she managed to restrain all 45KG of him!

We continued on our exercise and yet more peasant cats were strolling about like they owned the place, an offspring even dared to dash out in our path and the female Infidel made the cycling contraption come to a screeching halt and uttered some expletives at the peasant creature but still she did not free me to assassinate this vermin.  This behaviour only served to reinforce my opinion that the woman is a buffoon and further blackened my mood.  Has she not learnt yet that a Saluki can bear a grudge for hours?!?

On the bright side today is one of the days that we are visited by another Infidel.  This infidel cleans the prison and I take great delight in toying with this Infidel.  I must time my torture of her well, because if the female Infidel catches me she will put me in solitary!  I play such games as run around the visiting Infidel which generally releases strange squeeling sounds from her and the flapping of arms, excellent fun!  I also like to eat her shoes much to the female Infidels horror.  Thus far I have managed to consume two whole pairs.  The female Infidel didn't half go on about this too something about having to pay for them.  I have not paid but the Infidels will and pay dearly.  Another fun task is to retrieve a feather contraption the visiting Infidel uses to flap around at hight objects.  I am not as good at this these days, I used to be able to forcibly remove it from her hands but she is wise to this now and scares me away with whooshing sounds, so I have to bide my time and steal it when it is left unattended, this usually initiates a chase sequence whereby I dart about the house and none of the silly Infidels can catch me.  Yes I am in for a fun day today and perhaps this will serve to lift the black mood that descended on me this morning.

3 comments:

oojintyoo said...

Hang in there Stella freedom will come one day.

Jackass said...

He he he Stella You poor thing.
I did Zoomies round the house today and my human started screaming at me to stop and lie down!! god only knows why it was so much fun:-)
Perhaps you should ask Eric to help us Weims are known to be clever you know!!!!

Tiffani said...

Hiya Stella,

My Mommy and Daddy are coming to visit me in my own solitary today and I'll do my best to escape like I always do... they always manage to stay one step ahead of me though. That's annoying. I'll be sure to misbehave at the exercise pen and ignore them to attempt play with other dogs instead. This drives them crazy.
What's an "infidel"?
Leans n licks,
Silver