The teenage Infidel went out to babysit and I remained here with the female and the young weedy male Infidel. I like to toy with this male, as he is so lazy he doesn't even use his spine to hold himself up, preferring to loll about the place much to the annoyance of the adult Infidels. This being the case he is far too lazy to reprimand me like the others, so I can jump all over him to my hearts content, providing I choose a time when none of the others see me. I also enjoy overpowering him and taking things from him. The female Infidel keeps telling him that he must be more firm with me or I will take advantage, perhaps she is not quite as stupid I first thought.
The female Infidel is a wily old bird and attempted to weaken my resolve using the skullduggery of cuddles! I only withstood it because it seemed to upset the kelb and make him jealous. She allowed the kelb to come up onto the couch too! He is such a big creep! I decided to show my contempt for them both by lying in a chair alone, throwing them the odd scowl for good measure. It was a late night waiting up for everybody and the female Infidel kept falling asleep on the couch, so to keep her alert I brought the odd shoe from the shoe cupboard and dropped it on her swapping this for a tea towel now and again for variety. Eventually she got a bit annoyed and placed me in solitary.
Once again my attempts at tunneling in the back garden have been scuppered and they have filled it back in! I find this most annoying! They seem to get very irritated by my excavations.
Last night in an attempt to alleviate my depression, I took a large slab of chocolate cake from the kitchen counter (I had to get it out of the baking tin). Unfortunately, I gave myself away as I took the tea towel used to cover it into the lounge! The female Infidel then placed it on top of the refrigerator so that I could no longer reach it. I was a bit gutted as I could have consumed several more pieces. I rounded off the evening by attempting to chew the head off the female Infidel's wooden giraffe. She has had it for some 13 years, high time she replaced it with something new!
This morning the kelb actually managed to astound me with his stupidity! We went out on the cycling contraption as usual and he managed to snap his lead and break free. He stopped so suddenly that his great lumbering force snapped the lead. What did he do with this opportunity? Absolutely NOTHING! He simply trotted alongside the cycling contraption to command and stopped when he was told to! The female Infidel allowed him to complete his exercise in this manner. When he broke free and managed to escape I had a massive hissy fit and tried to escape too. All I managed to achieve was pulling the cycling contraption over and running round in a circle with it, much to the distress of the female Infidel. She had dismounted to check the damage to the lead and see if she could repair it. The kelb truly is an imbecile! I despair!