I don't believe it! The Muttawa have passed a law that there will be no pet dogs or cats in Riyadh. Peasant cats I can understand, as they are disgusting and have no place on Allah's clean Earth. Dogs! Surely they mean kelbs and not the chosen ones! And what is this word pet? Surely they mean fellow inmates. Captives of the cruel Infidel society.
Their cruelty knows no bounds they have only fed me twice today. When I helped myself to a wad of lasagne sheets someone had casually discarded in the kitchen, I was brutally wrestled to the ground and my food was confiscated, I was then subjected to solitary! All the while the vacant kelb sat grinning inanely and drooling outside my cell. He really is disgusting! Gag!
Perhaps this new law is an opportunity for escape and to be finally reunited with my Bedouin brothers and sisters. Apparently, the "pets" in question are to be confiscated if caught, now all I have to do is convince the female buffoon to exercise me in the middle of town.