Monday, 4 August 2008

Day 360 Of Captivity

When will these fatuous Infidels learn that I wish to dine on Lamb Kabsah and dates and not their disgusting unseasoned raw chicken or lambs offal that they keep serving up.  I am not meant for this!  Why do they think that I want to dine al fresco?  I should be fanned and hand served and certainly should not have to share my eating space with a fat drooling kelb.  I only consume the chicken to annoy him, as he is constantly poised ready to scoff anything that I do not eat.  To show my disdain for their measly offerings I hacked up a large chicken leg on their carpet this evening and to my absolute horror the drooling minion ate it!  Are there no levels that he will not stoop to?  He eats things that would make a billy goat puke!

Perhaps this show of defiance will let them know I am not happy with their so called food.  I do like to do this now and again to drive the message home that I do not care for raw chicken and would have much preferred to consume the chicken tagine that the fat Infidels quaffed. 

I was engaging in some good humoured banter with one of the gardeners through the prison windows this morning when the male infidel threatened through gritted teeth to slap the fur out of me if I uttered another sound!  He apparently was engaged in some feeble minded activity on the computer thing that I am not allowed to touch.  I may wee on it tomorrow  to let him know I am not impressed.  After dragging a few papers out of the office and getting sprayed with water, I went into my cell and sulked all afternoon, not that anyone noticed.  


Anonymous said...

Stella when will you learn that your the infidel sweetie.

Much love xxx

Tiffani said...

awww Stella! How could anyone not notice you? :) You're so beautiful. If they pretend not to notice you, they are "ignoring you" which is the way infidels attempt to brainwash you into behaving the way they want you to behave. The trick is to let them think they've won, and then fool them when they least expect it (middle of the night is a good time for this). I hope you are able to do something really naughty to punish them for their brainwashing attempts!

hector said...

Stella, you must wait until the infidels feed you something pulped in your bowl (preferably green veggies) and then quickly and deftly toss the bowl with your paw or pick it up in your mouth and throw it. Nothing gets the infidels doing the Irish Clog dance as quick as a load of food up thieir walls and on their carpets.
You must follow this my at least half a day of whimpering and shaking in a corner until they relent and come back into line.
You must bring the fatwa to the fat one Stella - like I do (hee hee....)
Tilly - your soul sister in Jersey