I managed to muster the strength to chew up a permanent marker in the teenage infidels room, getting green ink all over his rug and unfortunately all over my legs. A pitiful effort I know but I was frail and debilitated by the female infidels toxins.
I am feeling much brighter this morning. I ensured that the female infidel was unable to return to bed after our exercise this morning, by running around the house at top speed and fetching the tea towel and dish cloth in and out of the kitchen. Once I ensured she was completely awake, I decided to retire to my bed and sleep. I will probably sleep for much of the day now. The female infidel does not look too amused as I believe she was very tired this morning. What a shame! Perhaps she will have second thoughts before attempting to dispatch me in future!