I have made many valiant attempts to sabotage this atrocity that now adorns our living room with its vulgar shiny embellishments and hideous flashing lights. I have driven the female infidel to the brink of insanity with my efforts, a favourite is to eat the tinsel she really gets upset by this. I have produced some very festive excreta in the last few weeks, complete with shiny bits of tinsel. Hang that on your tree infidels!
The female infidel is being all jolly and listening to tiresome tunes by worn out old has beens, such as Cliff Richards. If I hear Mistletoe and Wine one more time, I swear I will chew off my own ears! Oh, the monstrous torment these Infidels put me through is inhumane!
Of course it is Hadj, but instead of going on a pilgrimage to the Holy Land, I am to be left here surrounded by Christmas trees and bloody Father Christmas! I must have been truly evil in a former life to deserve the infinite perdition that is to be my daily life. I am going to wait until no one is looking and shred the Christmas presents, they will not enjoy this heretical affair. How very dare they! Allah be praised and deliver me from these infidels. I pray that the New Year brings opportunities for my emancipation.