Saturday, 24 January 2009

Day 533 of Captivity

This week I have mostly been eating spectacles:

Consumables of 2009 1 pair of sunglasses belonging to a visiting Infidel (sequestering visiting Infidels possessions always has the maximum impact and causes the most fuss!)
1 Pair of spectacles belonging to the male Infidel
1 pair of spectacles belonging to the weedy adolescent Infidel

I have relished in infuriating the female Infidel this week.  I am experiencing a "false season" at the moment, which is a great excuse to behave restlessly and partake in much skullduggery.  Pacing relentlessly about the prison, looking shifty usually results in a bout of rage from either the female who has spent much of the day supervising my pacing (she doesn't appear to trust me out of her line of sight!) or the male who is "weary from a days work".  Unfortunately this then results in solitary confinement for me.  I do glean some satisfaction from bringing them to the brink of rage at times.  I can then sit in my cell and plot my next assault.

I have managed to sequester several pairs of spectacles this week, however, I have not managed to eviscerate them thanks to the constant shadow of bore that follows me around all day in the form of the female Infidel.  Quite a frightening form she is too!  Her grating voice and tedious demeanour, she never lets me have any fun!  Every little expression of freedom is quashed.  Only this afternoon I was dragging my bedding from my crate, as I was most put out that it had been washed.  I was going to drag it through the garden and get it nice and pungent again, but oh no the shadow of bore protested as usual!  YAAAAAAAAAAAWN!

I have taken to singing along to various theme tunes on the television, much to the displeasure of the Infidels.  I can reach some really high notes as well, but as usual being completely dreary the Infidels hate it.  They say my voice pierces their ear drums!  Coming from the female, who screeches incessantly, I find this to be rather hypercritical!  Yes the tedium continues, sigh!

No comments: