Saturday, 14 February 2009

Day 555 of Captivity

The Infidels quaffed down a chinese take away last night, and despite my best endeavors to look as emaciated and pathetic as possible, the greedy beasts didn't offer me even a morsel!  I was infuriated!  Being an opportunist, I waited for them to engage in conversation after the meal and before they had chance to clear away the plates, I jumped up at the kitchen table and scoffed down as many scraps as I could, before the evil crone of a female infidel caught me and sucked the joy out of my life by taking away the plates whilst berating me.  The shadow of bore strikes again, she is a nuisance!

She was quite livid last week when I attempted to eat a peasant cat that decided to perch on the windowsill outside the lounge!  I think what galled her was the fact that I became ever so slightly entangled in the wooden blinds at the window.  It was not my fault, and the intruder needed to be dispatched immediately for displaying such insolent behaviour.  The female did not seem at all perturbed by the intrusion and was more concerned by the assault on the blinds!  She is quite unhinged and I do worry about her at times.

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