The cruelty of the infidels knows no bounds! Not satisfied with having me sawn in half, they have now attached a hideous plastic lampshade to my collar. It is like an albatross around my neck. What kind of sadists are they? I have taken to my cell, as I am too ashamed to be seen in public looking like Shakespeare's dog! It is useful though, for knocking their precious things off tables and chaffing the kelb's posterior! The bonus is that the kelb is afraid of the collar, so I keep looming at him. It is most amusing seeing the vapid creature completely freak out!
O' frabjous day! Callooh! Callay! The kelb bids farewell to his plums tomorrow. Whilst I can't reach my own stitches I am sure I will manage to gnaw on his! *smiles smugly*