Friday, 29 May 2009

Day 656 of Captivity

During the dark days of my illness I flicked through some of the infidels novels.  it would appear that Infidels take a perverse pleasure in torturing royalty.  They had such titles as "The Man in the Iron Mask".  What devils have held me captive?

The Infidels have finally removed the cone of anguish that they had burdened me with these past few weeks.   I note that they have kept it and renamed it the cone of coercion.  It is in the back room glinting at me fiendishly.  As soon as the opportunity arises I will eat it.  

I am slightly sad to see the cone go, as I had developed a great game for torturing the kelb.  I would stand over him with the cone and trap his face in it.  If you saw his eyes bulge and his legs flail you would think it was vacuum sealed.  Most amusing!  I also quite enjoyed using it as a weapon of mass destruction and knee capping the Infidels with it.  That said I am fully functioning again as counter surfing champion KSA, the cone was somewhat hindering.

The female Infidel bathed me this morning and then dragged her victorian torture tool known as the Furminator through my coat.  I was just pleased to be free of the cone of anguish so I did not put up a fight.  The kelb was bathed too. 

The Infidels were preparing their dinner.  In their absence I chewed two enormous holes in one of the throws on the couch.  It has been ages since I have been able to wreck havoc on their lives and I didn't want them forgetting just what I am capable of did I? 

2 comments:

Stark Raving Zen said...

Oh ye, who shall not be hindered! Your destructive capacity lives on, and gloriously large! I shall bite another hole in the couch as testiment to your greatness. All Hail Stella!

-Arya (Captive Saluki to Stark Raving Zen)

Laurie said...

Haha Stella!! you go girl! TresBeau