Sunday, 7 June 2009

Day 665 of Captivity

I am outraged!  The female Infidel maimed me with her cycling contraption this morning.  The foul kelb stopped to evacuate his bowels and the female infidel was most put out that I was attempting to alert her to a peasant cat encroaching on our personal space.  The sheer impudence of the grimy creature was inconceivable!  The female Infidel was attempting to pick up the kelb's leavings (a ghastly activity these Infidels perform that I have found most peculiar!)  and became quite cross as I attempted to pull the cycling contraption round so that I could dispatch the ghastly peasant cat.  She attempted to mount the cycling contraption and ignore the brute.  I jumped up and scratched her arm to bring her out of the stupour she was clearly in.  She became more determined to cycle on, there was nothing for it, I threw myself against the rear tyre in an attempt to stop the madness.  She cursed loudly and told me to stop being such an imbecile.  I am now sporting a large friction burn on my chest and a severe reprimand from the female Infidel for allegedly attempting to take her life.  She can be such a drama queen!  When I licked off all of the iodine and antiseptic cream, she even had the gall to threaten me with the cone of despair!  The abuse continues.

The kelb was supposed to be taken to the vet yesterday evening to have his boosters.  He managed to get a reprieve, as when the male Infidel came home from work he said he was far too tired for such ventures!  From what I can gather his occupation entails his sitting in a large leather chair in a big office, I cannot understand how that would be very tiring at all.  I am pretty sure by the look on the female Infidels face that she was struggling to comprehend this too.  She muttered something about being slightly put out she was unable to drive herself.  At least I think that is what the cursing meant.  

1 comment:

Anonymous said...

Stella you should leave these infidels and come to the UK where you could run along the beach and have such fun hope your wound is better soon, you bring such joy first thing in the morning with your blog.