Friday, 12 June 2009

Day 670 of Captivity

The infidels went out last night to partake in an evening of drunken debauchery at the British Embassy.  They are truly scandalous and came home in the early hours of the morning in a drunken stupor, they are such heathens.  I have my suspicions that they may have eaten prohibited pig meat as well, they are just depraved enough!  

Before they went out they spent ages primping themselves.  While the female infidel was in the shower she left the clothes she was to wear out ready and her new shoes.  I have not eaten a pair of shoes in a while and thought this a good opportunity to revisit the pleasure.  I managed to chew a small hole in the side of one of her shoes while she was busy in the bathroom.  She became quite enraged when she came out of the bathroom and caught me just about to have a chew on the heels, I have never seen her move so quickly and the language was atrocious!  

Needless to say the infidels have spent much of the day in bed.  I tried to rouse them to let me out, but it was a pointless exercise.  I was left aghast when I wrapped myself up in the kilim and began chewing on the corners, the female infidel has the hearing of a fruit bat and she was out of bed quicker than a flash and issuing death threats.  She trudged down to the garden with me and became very impatient as I plodded round the garden smelling the flowers and taking  my time to enjoy the baking sun, which seemed to turn the female infidel an ashen shade.  They have not moved much today and look like death warmed up, the only thing that gets  them active is playfully jumping on their heads, they don't seem too pleased about it either!  

1 comment:

Luke Leigh said...

I see you are back on form after having been sawn in half. Nice to hear you have found some small pleasure in life (chewing her shoes).

Look forward to the next installment!