Sunday, 14 June 2009

Day 672 of Captivity

Yesterday was the hairy infidels birthday.  The ungrateful young upstart didn't seem to appreciate my gift of warm chicken vomit that I unselfishly left on his pillow for him.  He thundered down the stairs bellowing like a bull and he called me some very unkind names!  The youth of today are just so ungrateful.  Next time I shall defecate in his slippers!

This morning the female infidel swanned off to a coffee morning on another compound, where she quaffed cakes (as if her ass isn't big enough!) and sat about all morning twittering on to any poor soul she could detain.  I can just imagine the anguish, those poor people!  The female infidel didn't even bring back a morsel for us, the greedy wench!  Myself and the kelb were left in the care of the hairy infidel and the sullen strange boy infidel.  I am still sulking about the hairy one's churlish behaviour yesterday.  To teach him a lesson, I decided I would defecate in his slippers! My generosity knows no bounds.  By the smell of them, I wasn't the first, although I couldn't name the breed from the stench, possibly Orangutan or some form of marsupial.  I am dozing on the couch awaiting the fallout when he discovers them.  

1 comment:

sian said...

Oh Stella - a "step too far"? Or maybe just what the hairy infidel thinks, when he donns his slippers next?!!