Sunday, 21 June 2009

Day 679 of Captivity

Words fail me, I have been subjected to the most intolerable cruelty.  The greedy fat male infidel has just sat and eaten an entire bag of maltesers, and despite my most pitiful looks, he didn't even spare me a crumb!  I am outraged.  I am considering chewing his notes during his next visit to the kitchen, he is working hard on his note taking for his masters, I am sure eating every other page would be due recompense for his miserly behaviour!

They had a stir fry for tea and all I managed to procure was one measly bean sprout.  I wouldn't mind, but the corpulent kelb ate that!  

I am still sulking with the kelb after his stupidity last night!  The female Infidel actually allowed us to have a raw hide chew each last night.  It has been some time since we had one, because the kelb always spoils things.  I hid mine upstairs on the landing so they would think I had eaten it, then I taunted the kelb hoping to entice him into giving his up, but he was not giving in easily and he ignored me!  I became tired of him, he does tend to bring on a feeling of malaise after just a few moments in his irksome company.  

The little sneak sidled out of the room, as soon as my back was turned, and went upstairs to retrieve the chew I had hidden.  He skipped into the room all smug with one sticking out of each side of his gormless great mouth.  He even had the audacity to gallop round the room dancing with glee and taunting me.  Needless to say I was extremely vexed and I let him have it.  The female infidel chastised ME and then confiscated the chews.  I berated the kelb for some time after they were taken and pouted at him from the couch across the room, whilst he sat gazing vacantly in the direction that the chews were last seen.  I could almost hear the air rushing around the emptiness that is his skull.  He sucks the fun right out of life!

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