Monday, 22 June 2009

Day 680 of Captivity

The miserly Infidels have only fed me once today, claiming that because I vomited a little it was for my own good!  Faint with hunger I was forced to find my own sustenance.  I managed to intercept a cockroach and was just about to ingest it when all hell broke lose and there was a lot of shrieking and flapping of arms and wringing of hands.  I thought the hairy one was going to soil himself!  My meal was confiscated and freed (stupid Buddhists!) much to my disgust, even Papillon was allowed to eat the cockroaches.  

Imagine my glee when I learned that roast beef with all the trimmings was on the Infidels menu this evening.  I should have known the hedonistic, potbellied simians would eat it all themselves!  However, intelligence sources have confirmed that the hairy one and the strange nerdy one are off to the dentist tomorrow, hopefully their mandibles will be wired shut, leaving an opening for me and my counter surfing deftness!  Should I not perish from lack of nutrients in the night, I am reduced to chewing my own feet and the occasional nibble of the camel stool!  How the kelb survives with his body mass I do not know!


Dennis the Vizsla said...

hello stella its dennis the vizsla dog hay i am sorry to heer abowt yore kaptivity and the loss of yore cockroatch meel but i am intreegd by the camel stool yoo menshun ware cud i git sum of that in suthern california??? ok bye

Stella (given to me by the infidels) said...

If you go to your local zoo and get your infidel to follow the camels around with a shovel, I am sure you will have a camel "stool" all of your very own. You and I both know how much Infidels enjoy collecting stools.

Liking the hat!