Saturday, 27 June 2009

Day 685 of Captivity

The female infidel fed us very late this morning, because instead of catering to our every desire, she spent the morning on the phone twittering on to some poor undeserving soul.  I can only imagine they were on the other end of the line sticking forks in their necks and slamming their heads repeatedly in the freezer, I know I wished I was!  FINALLY the poor victim must have made their excuses and escaped, and the gabbling fool got off the phone.  

After she fed us, to illustrate my displeasure at having to wait, I regurgitated the entire meal up onto the carpet in the lounge.  I would have liked to have been able to vomit through the blinds, but I am still practicing my projectile technique.  The repugnant kelb hearing the commotion came to investigate.  At this point the female Infidel became enraged and started roaring at us both to get out, flailing her arms at us, like a spit fire plummeting to Earth!  

I took an enormous amount of satisfaction in seeing the kelb out maneuver her in the dining room and make a run for it back into the lounge.  Once he got there he gobbled up the pile of steaming spew, whilst I roared with laughter from the safety of the kitchen.  I really thought the female Infidel would have a stroke, as she began venting her spleen.  Yes, the kelb is not so adorable now is he missy!