Monday, 20 July 2009

Day 708 of Captivity

The female infidel was throwing herself about on the running machine this morning.  For a brief moment, I did consider that it might be an enjoyable diversion to jump onto the machine whilst she was wheezing and sweating away like a rasping old hippo.  On further consideration I decided against such action, one miscalculation on my part and I could have been crushed by her gargantuan carcass!  Not quite how I pictured my glorious exit to this world!

This afternoon I dragged out the battered remains of the TV control that was stupidly abandoned in between the cushions of the couch.  I was just about to disassemble it to finally discover what is inside when the female infidel discovered me and put an end to that plan.  I was so miffed, I ate her tour guide of Istanbul with gay abandon, while she went to the lavatory.  Ha!  That will put an end to any plot she might be hatching to swan off and enjoy herself!  Find the Blue Mosque now with half a map, not that they would let you in anyway you stinky infidel!

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