Monday, 7 September 2009

Day 757 of Captivity

The female Infidel did not seem too amused when she emerged from her shower to discover the tattered remains of what was once a bowl of wicker balls strewn about the bedroom carpet and her bed.  The kelb not wanting to be thought guilty of the crime had retreated to his own bed and was looking disgusted with me.  I think that she should thank her lucky stars that she did not emerge to the tattered remains of her mobile, it was just too high for me to reach!

The kelb has been getting on my last nerve today.  He has all the world to lie in, but he insists on parking his fetid carcass right next to me.  I don't even like him, he disgusts me!  I think he is either a cretin of the first degree or a masochist, he doesn't even move when I bite him, a sacrifice on my part as he is truly putrid and tastes of feet.  

The female Infidel has been for a haircut today, as it was starting to resemble a crash helmet.  She returned looking like a tactically shaved orangutan.  I cannot see the point in this exercise, but then I am not a vain person!  I am naturally blessed with good looks and perfect fur which is more than can be said for the miscreants who infest this hell hole.  Not a decent haircut amongst them!  

1 comment:

Prince Charming Uriel Saluki said...

Dearest Stella,
Allah only knows what we have to go tghrough and put up with!
Of course we are lucky, blessed with stunning looks and pefectly shiny fur... but it is very hard to retain some degree of modesty when living with such shapless monsters!
Chimps at least have tails - as well as digits...