Tuesday, 15 September 2009

Day 765 of Captivity

Yes!  I am getting rid of the shadow of bore that is the female Infidel for a whole week.  She is heading off for a holiday tomorrow and leaving the kelb and I in the care of the male Infidels.  This is great, because the males are such pushovers and are powerless to resist my fluttering eyelashes and astonishing good looks.  They are not as relentless as the old shrew, although I have to admit the hairy one can be a bit of a tyrant when he is in a hormone induced rage.  I am also so looking forward to the male Infidel attempting to cycle with us; the female is very adept these days, it will be fun to have some new blood to toy with.  I am prepared to wager that by the end of the first day, he will be covered in pooh (having fallen off) and reverting to pedestrian methods of exercising us.

The kelb, however, does not seem to be as overjoyed as me that his beloved patron is leaving him.  He has been pouting on the couch ever since he clapped eyes on her suitcase and he won't even sit with her.  The big twit looks close to tears!  I am too of course, but mine are tears of joy and elation!  I won't have to listen to the rasping tones of her scolding me for some minor infraction or other.  I think it is brilliant and it can't come around fast enough!

She was very selfish when packing her bags to leave and kept everything out of the way.  She would not let me assist her.  I believe that there is some very important documentation in one of her bags, but the miserable bat has put the bag on top of a cupboard well out of my reach.  I was hoping to have a ferret about in this bag, but she is taking no chances.  All I have managed to abscond with is a rather large and tired old pair of pants, I am sure I have saved her much embarrassment by snatching them!   Her wardrobe like her hairstyle could do with being brought into the fifteenth century.  

I am taunting the kelb by singing "Leaving on a jet plane", he will be reduced to a snivelling wreck (well more of a snivelling wreck) before the night is out.  Oh what fun I will have with him, now that his protector is out of the picture for at least a week.


Prince Charming Uriel said...

At long last!
I cannot believe your luck - they never let ME in peace, not even a day... I am sure you will show your true colours with only the male infidels around.
Escape is at hand!

Stella (given to me by the infidels) said...

Infidels are adept at sucking the fun out of life! Keep the faith my prince, the opportunity shall arise one day for freedom, in the meantime make them suffer! they totally deserve it Xx

Prince Charming Uriel said...

Sweet like honey, my resplendent Princess Stella, flow your words to my befringed desert ears... so sweet indeed!
Make the most of your semi-holiday.
Enjoy the torture and keep us informed xxx

ps_ how's the reading progressing? "The Prince" is such a goldmine...

Signe said...

Day four of the holiday, and still no sign of the pleb on the bike with you princess. Maybe The pleb has decided to take you out on your perambulation when no one can see you doing your trick and making him step into your pooh. I haven't been able to take a picture of you and the hairy infidel on the bike.