Friday, 25 September 2009

Day 775 of Captivity

Oh kill me now!  The shadow of bore has returned!  She deigned to bring me some manky toys from her travels, I have subsequently obliterated them to show my disdain for her meagre offerings, it is hardly recompense for her abandonment of her duties.  I also shredded the kelb's just to upset him.  

He has been like a lost sheep all week, moping about pathetically, crestfallen and close to tears.  Since the return of the female Infidel he has been overjoyed and she cannot move without him accompanying her just in case she manages to sneak out again.  He almost breaks his neck to follow her, it is really quite contemptible!  I enjoyed a week of doing as I please without the miserable old shrew on my back all day; the males are far more laid back and seemed to concentrate their efforts on telling the puling kelb to "sod off".  

I managed to sequester a box of Paracetamol earlier, plotting to put them in the crone's tea, but the male Infidel mistook my theft as an attempt at self harm!  He was rightly horrified.  I shall miss the old hippy when he goes off on his travels tomorrow, especially as he is taking the adolescents with him and leaving me with the shrew for three whole weeks!  Hopefully he will bring back an offering befitting my status on his return.  I hear that the jade is very beautiful from that part of the world.

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