Friday, 13 November 2009

Day 824 of Captivity

The infidels spent much of the morning lying in bed the odd groan and escaping of noxious gases  emanating from their direction.  They went out last night to see a live band, how that entails rolling home drunk as lords in the small hours of the morning I will never know!  This clearly was not a band of the classical persuasion, as I head them regaling tales of their crowd surfing activities during the show.  They are such hooligans!  The female infidel looks like death warmed up and is complaining about her self inflicted headache.  I have done a spot of singing this morning and bounced off her head a couple of times in an attempt to get her to snap out of her self pity and wallowing.

I have just been attempting to assist the female infidel with cooking the dinner and doing a pre wash of the dishes.  She is so ungrateful!  When I jumped up at the counter to assist with the cutting of the sausage, she looked aghast and muttered something about being in the room.  The infidels all sat down and quaffed a huge plate of pasta each.  It looked so much more tasty than the ghastly chicken we are served up daily!  Of course they didn't spare us so much as a whiff of their meal.  After dinner my many attempts to pre wash the dishes were unsuccessful, and after the female infidel had pursued me around the dining room table for the fifteenth time, she seemed to lose the will to live.  I am now behind bars no doubt until the cycle has finished on the dishwasher so that the female infidel can remove the dishes from the sink.

They tire so easily, the same thing happened this afternoon when I ran up and down the stairs with the male infidel's work shoes.  He played with me for so long and then decided that the game was rubbish!  I was forced to toy with the nerdy Infidel, I stole a pencil from his computer desk and giggled as he made chase like a pathetic rag-doll whining my name and telling me to stop in THE most feeble voice I have ever heard.  Needless to say I did not feel compelled to stop and I carried on the game until he bored me and his grating voice became too much to bear.

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