Monday, 28 December 2009

Day 865 of Captivity

As if the kelb was not already ghastly enough, the great twit not satisfied with his gruel of chicken, ate a bee today.  He now resembles a canine Mick Jagger and looks positively miserable.  One just cannot believe that any creature could be as dull-witted as him!  The male infidel rushed outside believing he was being killed, as the kelb shrieked like a mob of little girls.  His nose quickly inflated to the canine version of Gerard Depardieu, as I stood in the kitchen doorway scoffing at his lunacy.  All in all a good start to the day.

Bored out of my mind I decided to seek my own entertainment, because any wrestling attempts with the kelb have been thwarted by the irksome infidels.  He has spent much of the day nursing his injured snout and looking wretched.  Even the male infidel has ignored my advances and attempts to engage him in play, as he is allegedly "studying".  This involves him sitting on the couch bent over his laptop whilst watching as many DVDs as he can fit into an afternoon.  What on earth he is studying is anyone's guess!  He is obviously taking a masters degree in second rate movies.  The female infidel did not seem amused when she returned from work this afternoon, stating that she had only gone in this week to allow him the time to study.  I fear if she comes home one more time this week and discovers him in front of a movie, he will spend the rest of his life studying hospital food and nursing a similar nose to that which the kelb is sporting today.

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