Sunday, 13 June 2010

Day 1030 of Captivity

Allah save me!  The female infidel has embarked on some sort of canine first aid course.  I have spent the past month enduring the insufferable indignity of being restrained, poked, prodded and splinted.  I can only thank my lucky stars that the temperature section did not advise the use of rectal thermometers in the home!  I thought I may have to consume that chapter.  I found having my ear bandaged most objectionable!  I seem to be the target for most of her insane activities whilst she studies this subject, apparently I am a more challenging dog than the buffoon of a kelb. Probably because unlike that dull-witted nincompoop I strongly object to being slowly tortured to death by a cacky fingered old wanna be witch doctor.  Even if I was dying, I would not be calling on the "expertise" of that old shrew to save me!    

In order to avoid her advances, I have taken to hiding away in my crate whenever I see her approaching me with a look of grim determination on her face.  That look generally means I will end the afternoon looking like I belong in a sarcophagus!  I believe she intends on doing a canine aggression course next, I will be mightily glad to assist her with her studies of this one!  Grrrrrrrrrrrrr!