Sunday, 13 June 2010

Day 1030 of Captivity

Allah save me!  The female infidel has embarked on some sort of canine first aid course.  I have spent the past month enduring the insufferable indignity of being restrained, poked, prodded and splinted.  I can only thank my lucky stars that the temperature section did not advise the use of rectal thermometers in the home!  I thought I may have to consume that chapter.  I found having my ear bandaged most objectionable!  I seem to be the target for most of her insane activities whilst she studies this subject, apparently I am a more challenging dog than the buffoon of a kelb. Probably because unlike that dull-witted nincompoop I strongly object to being slowly tortured to death by a cacky fingered old wanna be witch doctor.  Even if I was dying, I would not be calling on the "expertise" of that old shrew to save me!    

In order to avoid her advances, I have taken to hiding away in my crate whenever I see her approaching me with a look of grim determination on her face.  That look generally means I will end the afternoon looking like I belong in a sarcophagus!  I believe she intends on doing a canine aggression course next, I will be mightily glad to assist her with her studies of this one!  Grrrrrrrrrrrrr!


Uriel said...

Most disgraceful attitude, my dear Princess.

We are not dolls, or practicing dummies!

Keep the fight up.

Yours truly
Prince Charming Uriel,

houndstooth said...

I just started reading your blog, and I am shocked by the conditions that you find yourself living under! Being a greyhound princess myself, I understand that you have to put your paw down sometimes with your servants. I hope this chapter in your life passes soon!