Thursday, 21 June 2012

Day 258 in Exile

The shrew does not seem to appreciate me serenading her with my Bedouin folk songs at midnight, she appreciates it even less when she stumbles out of bed like some kind of Apocolyptic Zombie and lurches towards my crate yelling at me that I had better need to pee or else.  I pottered around the garden, taking my time to sniff every plant, as the shrew muttered under her breath.  As we went through the front door I was instructed very sternly that I had better get myself back to bed and shut my face!  The shrew can be very rude and ungrateful sometimes.

Needless to say she was not really up for the game of "Just out of reach" that I attempted to engage her in after our amble round the garden in the evening dusk.  In fact she became quite irate as I skipped about the lounge easily avoiding her clumsy grabbing as she hissed through gritted teeth that I would be shortly dispatched if I did not go to bed.  Knowing that she is incapable of catching me, I blew a few raspberries in her direction and carried on leaping about from couch to chair, until she became enraged and threw a cushion at me!  I was outraged, I could have been killed!  I huffed upstairs and threw myself on her bed in a sulk. 

The shrew was further exasperated when she had finally lumbered up the stairs and discovered me sprawled on her bed.  She tried to shoo me away into my crate, but I continued the game of "Just out of reach" with her.  She was now fuming and yelling at me that she had no intention of playing and she kept telling me what time it was.  I scuttled about her bed a bit more sniggering to myself.  Every now and again the kelb raised his big fat head from his basket and shot me a look of disgust.  I blew a raspberry at him too.

The shrew finally lost patience and rugby tackled me to the bed, then attempted to lift me off, I hung like a sack of potatoes and wriggled about to make sure it was not easy to move me.  I was then unceremoniously stuffed into my crate and warned that if there was one more peep out of me that evening I would be taken on a long walk of a short pier!  I flung myself down in the crate and pouted, making sure that the shrew felt suitably guilty for being so unkind, but she simply glowered at me and turned off the lamp saying a very huffy "GOODNIGHT!"

She looks a bit rough this morning and it took a good 20 minutes post alarm for her to drag herself out of her pit.  I was greeted with a glare and she has huffed under her breath since she woke up.  Perhaps it was a bridge too far to run off with the fixings for her new blinds when I got downstairs this morning, she almost had a siezure.  I didn't dare chew them as the look of pure rage on her face was enough to end that little game.  The shrew is such a hideous bore!


1 comment:

fraggle said...

ohhh that was so funny, it was just like being in my house with my silly old moo bag, she was shouting at me last night and pulling at her hair in despair, all i wanted was food, she had already fed me, but i wanted another bowl, then with me belly stuffed i just fell asleep, she said her throat was sore from all the yelling, i said me ead was sore with all her yelling too. xx fraggle xx