Wednesday, 24 September 2014

Day 3 million and 42 (or something like that) in Exile

The shrew let us into the garden a couple of days ago while she was hanging some washing up on the line.  The kelb and I were mooching about, when all of a sudden the trees at the top of the garden started to shake and a Border Collie burst through them having heard us respond to a bark and decided he might join us!  He was a cheeky young upstart and came into the garden wagging his tail and thinking we might play if you please!  I don't like kelbs at the best of times, but an interloper!  The very idea that I would engage in any frivolity with such an impudent beast!  I decided to box his ears.  A great deal of commotion broke out as I cuffed the young scoundrel and gave him a piece of my mind.  The kelb decided to come over all chivalrous and came to my aid and we mounted a 2 pronged attack on the Border Collie.

Meanwhile the shrew became hysterical and was squawking in the background like a demented chicken, flapping her arms around and screeching at us all to cease.  We continued to berate the intruder the full length of the garden.  All of a sudden I heard a dull thud and found myself covered in washing!  The shrew in exasperation threw her laundry at us complete with the basket, which thudded off the Border Collies head.  We were all 3 covered in Pajamas and the shrew's enormous pants!  We all scattered in different directions.  I attempted to gather my composure and continue castigating the cheeky trespasser, but the shrew had by then grabbed my collar and was holding the Border Collie at arms length too.  I attempted a few snaps at his tail as she dragged ME towards the house.  The kelb then appeared to wag his tail and befriend the Border Collie!  He is such a traitor!  The shrew shoved me into the utility room and shut the door and a few moments later the kelb was thrust through the utility room door as well.

The shrew came inside and put me in my crate and then she left.  Apparently she was taking the criminal Collie to the police station.  Apparently en route it occurred to the shrew to call into the vet and see if the Collie was chipped or known to them.  Eventually the Collie's owner showed up, he had been visiting his daughter when the naughty young pup had suddenly vaulted the wall.  I suspect that he won't be making that mistake again, but I am carrying out stringent border patrols to ensure that he doesn't.  If he comes back, I will be ready for him!  One does not simply encroach on a Saluki's territory and live to tell the tale!

The shrew spent the evening being pale and hysterical and having a rather large glass of wine or 3!